Does International Long-Distance Relationship Work?
Time differences, language barriers, cultural gaps, and other challenges haunt every person who at least once tries to give an international relationship a shot. It all starts so easily: you exchange text messages every day, learn more about each other, and realize that online talking is no longer satisfying.
In a few months or even weeks, your feelings get stronger which makes you buy the plane tickets and finally meet in person. You talk face-to-face, enjoy your quality time to the fullest, and loathe the moment when you have to say “farewells” to each other. Different cities, different countries, and different time zones become unbearable. I get it, I’ve been there.
And the main question is whether a long-distance relationship with someone from another country is worth fighting for. The answer is simple: it’s worth it but it’s hard work that takes time, money, and patience.
Why Do People Start Long-Distance Relationships?
I’ve heard many success stories about people surviving international long-distance relationships but never expected to be one of them. I would love to share my personal story with you and am sure you will have something to ponder after hearing it.
My dating life sucked. I had no boyfriend, and all my communication involved family members, friends, and work peers. I got tired of alone time and decided to find a partner online, from another country as the locals left me hopeless. I found a decent site and in one week matched with Anthony — an amazing guy from Canada. We texted each other for a month, then gradually moved to FaceTime.
The best International long-distance relationship advice I would give at this point is to maintain communication with a long-distance partner only if you agree that in the future you’re about to move in together. Hence, you need to discuss it once you get to know each other a little bit.
I visited Anthony in Canada the next month. We started dating officially after my two weeks in Toronto. When I arrived home, Anthony and I planned to meet again. It was tough to stay home without him, especially without his cuddles. Only then did I realize that physical touch is my top love language.
It took us almost two years to settle down together. How did we do it? First of all, we sincerely wanted to date each other and did a couple of things that saved our international long-distance relationship. You’ll find out about them a bit later.
How are Long-Distance Relationships Different from Regular Ones?
Here’s the deal, both regular and long-distance relationships are challenging. I’ve survived both and sometimes it’s not about the distance, it’s about the desire to contribute. The following differences are based on my experience. I’m sure, you’ll recognize them as well, especially if you face both types of relationships.
|You speak the same language and live in the same country.||You may speak a different language since you reside in different countries. Or simply, have the same location but live in various cities.|
|You spend more time talking face-to-face and enjoy real-life dates weekly or even daily.||You interact online most of your time, having Facetime calls, and in the best case visiting each other’s countries.|
|Your mental health is more stabilized as you don’t miss your partner constantly since you know you will see him or her soon.||You may focus on negative feelings as you simply desire to see your partner more often.|
|You save money by staying at home and meeting in the local places instead.||You spend money on your next visit to your partner’s hometown or another country.|
|You have no significant cultural differences.||You’re raised in different cultures and it may affect your communication or even dating expectations.|
What Difficulties Arise in International Relationship?
No matter the effort international couples put into sustaining healthy long-distance relationship, they always deal with excruciating challenges. Anthony and I dealt with so many difficulties but we nailed them as hard as we could. Making long-distance work was tough as we had to:
- Communicate via laptops or phones. I remember Anthony being excited about getting a new job. He reached out to me through the FaceTime call. But that day my Internet set me up and I couldn’t hear and see clearly on the screen how happy Anthony was.
- Visit each other all the time. I’m sure if we hadn’t planned a mutual trip once per three months, we would have broken up a long time ago. Our personal projects would involve travels, travels, and travels again.
- Learn a new language. Well, not Anthony but me. I had to cram a bit of French as my boyfriend started working in the Canadian region where everyone spoke French.
Tips on How to Save Long-Distance Relationship
How do you date long distances successfully? My clients ask me this question dozens of times each week. The good news, my experience can help international couples maintain long-distance communication successfully and as long as possible. Check out the efficient hacks to sustain international LDR without feeling bummed:
- Enjoy effective communication. In the world of long-distance relationship, effective communication is the key to success. When physical touching and body language aren’t available, your interaction relies on what you say and how you say it. For example, don’t share dull information and ask typical questions. Be precise and direct Instead of daily “How are you?” text something engaging, like “I ate such a delicious burger today, hands down, the best burger in my life”, or simply send a photo.
- Learn to understand each other. Sometimes couples take each other for granted as they spend more time together. Therefore, a good tip is to be a good listener and include empathy in your communication. React to information instead of quickly moving to your day.
- Have a plan. The most crucial part here. You should discuss your plan for the future. And no, you needn’t do it once you start dating. But if you feel like your exclusive dating can lead to something far-serious, talk about your expectations. Your main question to answer is where do you see your relationship after long distance.
- Keep it all spicy. International LDRs always spoil the intimate part. Actually keeping the sparks flowing is getting complicated through time. Luckily, my partner and I are open to cybersex and figured it all out.
Can Long-Distance International Relationships Dating Turn into Marriage?
How often does long-distance work out? Can they lead to marriage? It’s interesting how skeptical people may be regarding the outcome of this type of relationship. But here’s my simple reply, getting married after sustaining a long distance is possible. Long-distance relationship in different countries should have their end — either it’s moving in together, marriage, or a breakup.
This happened to me and Anthony and many other couples who dated internationally. Yet, you need to understand that this step is possible only if both sides want the same outcome and are ready for life changes. In my case, Anthony moved to the United States. He knows my family, and my friends, which helps him easily assimilate into my country.
Therefore, the recipe is captivating: if you want to make it work, you need to communicate effectively, amaze each other, and do a lot of planning.
The idea of international dating has many benefits and downsides. Whether it will work or not entirely depends on each person who gets into this kind of interaction. How to make the long-distance easier? The first essential tip is to discuss whether you desire the same result from the relationship.
Partners who blindly enjoy online date nights and avoid talking about the relationship outcome usually fail. Your priority is to not make it as amusing as possible but truly get to know each other and do real actions that show you’re ready to commit.